In the build-up to WrestleMania 32, the Flickering Myth writers look back at previous installments of the ‘Showcase of the Immortals’.
The Card:
IC Title Match: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels w/Luna Vachon (Win by Count-Out)
The Steiner Brothers vs. The Headshrinkers w/Afa
Crush vs. Doink
Bob Backlund vs. Razor Ramon
WWF Tag Title Match: Money Inc. vs. Hulk Hogan & Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake w/Jimmy Hart (Win by DQ)
Mr. Perfect vs. Lex Luger
Undertaker w/Paul Bearer vs. Giant Gonzales w/Harvey Wippleman (Win by DQ)
WWF Title Match: Bret ‘Hit Man’ Hart vs. Yokozuna w/Mr. Fuji
WWF Title Match: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna w/Mr. Fuji
The Lows:
Over the past 32 years, it has not been uncommon for a Wrestlemania show to revolve around some sort of theme. For example, 16 had the Millennium, 21 had Hollywood, and 30 had Mardi Gras. Now usually these themes don’t impact the show itself too much, rarely extending past the stage design and promotional materials. However, at WrestleMania IX embrace its theme in every way imaginable.
The result was utterly ridiculous.
The initial idea may not seem that crazy; the show was being held at Caesar’s Palace, so why not opt for a Roman/Gladiator theme? Unfortunately, they leaned so absurdly heavy on this theme that it bordered on the surreal. For instance, the show began with Randy Savage entering the arena on a sedan chair, and Bobby Heenan following behind on a camel. The pair would then join Jim Ross on commentary (JR’s ‘Mania debut) where all three men would sit in togas the entire night. The tone had well and truly been set.
The main event scenario is also completely unacceptable. In one of the most backwards and stale booking decisions in ‘Mania history, Bret Hart and Yokozuna are completely buried by Hogan (or rather, by Vince).
Hart and Yoko’ had fairly tepid bout to begin with, one marred by an absurd finish. With the Sharpshooter locked in, Hart was blinded by Mr Fuji who blew salt in the Hitman’s eyes. Yokozuna then immediately covered Hart to win the title. Now, being blinded is obviously a massive disadvantage in a wrestling match, but to this day I don’t understand how it prevented Hart from kicking out. Surely, it would have made more sense to have him suffer a Bonzai Drop or some other devastating move before the cover.
If that wasn’t enough, an impromptu title match then followed as Mr Fuji challenged Hulk Hogan to take on the new champion. What sort of manager puts their newly-crowned champion in match immediately after a main event they had to cheat to win in the first place? Just utter nonsense.
An un-promoted addition to the main event isn’t necessarily a problem, as Seth Rollins proved last year. However, this instance was nothing more than a transparent attempt to put a past-it Hulkster back in the limelight.
The Highs:
For the first time since we started the Flickering Myth WrestleMania Retrospective, I am genuinely at a loss when it comes to highlights. WrestleMania IX offers very little in the way of memorable moments, or even exciting match finishes.
The closest thing to a thrilling moment would have to the opening match, where Shawn Michaels took on Tatanka for the Intercontinental Title. Perhaps the most surprising thing about this match is that the competitors were give a hefty amount of match-time, with the final bell tolling at just over 18 minutes.
For the majority of that time, both men put on a fairly entertaining bout; easily the best of Tatanka’s career. Michaels was famously unhappy with the way the match went. He has since told the story of a vow that he made to himself post-match, where he promised that he would have fans talking positively about his future ‘Mania matches. Given what happened in the years that followed, it’s clear that ‘Mr. WrestleMania’ lived up to that promise.
Overview:
To this day, this show is widely considered to be the worst WrestleMania of all time. Personally, I think the shambolic nature and poor production values of ‘Mania II trumps this one, but there is not getting away from the fact that WrestleMania IX is truly awful.
Even if we were to ignore the bizarre theming issues, the card itself is incredibly weak across the board which, given the talent at WWE’s disposal, is inexcusable. Even the matches that weren’t totally dull (and there’s only two of them) are tainted by weak and senseless finishes.
Jackson Ball – Follow me on Twitter and LinkedIn
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