It’s Christmas season and it’s a time of forgiveness…for bad movies. Here are seven enjoyably bad Christmas movies…
Something about the Christmas season raises the spirits in people. Come December, it feels like audiences suddenly gain a tolerance for rubbish, be it food, music or movies. Yes, the humble cinematic Christmas offering has a crapola ratio as high as any specific genre or seasonal fare. It’s rare a truly great Christmas movie comes out but even so, Hallmark has kept on plugging away creating formulaic drivel that 11 months of the year would be deemed unwatchable, but are somehow magical in December.
I’ll hold my hands up and admit, that in addition to watching my favourite and genuinely great staples like Die Hard, Home Alone, Scrooged and Bad Santa, I’ll also sit through unapologetically maudlin drek just because it’s got a bit of tinsel in the production design and a few public domain Christmas songs. If you want to watch an enjoyably rubbish Christmas film, the possibilities are limitless, but these 7 are definitely a good place to start.
Ernest Saves Christmas
Ah the misadventures of Jim Varney’s comic creation, Ernest P Worrall. From TV skit character to unlikely movie franchise star, the cinematic run of Worrall was largely rubbish but they were just so affable and endearing that it was hard not to like Ernest Goes to Jail, Ernest Goes to Camp but most of all Ernest Saves Christmas as that had the added benefit of being an Xmas season film, reaping the forgiveness afforded to bad Christmas films.
Ernest Saves Christmas sees Ernest having to intervene and help Santa, who finds himself in trouble with the law when no one believes he’s the real deal. The late Varney’s rubber-faced antics are goofy but if you feel like reawakening your inner child with some puerile physical humour, this one still manages to entertain and Douglas Seale is a genuinely great movie Santa.
Surviving Christmas
Around the early part of the century, it felt like the world of movie critics was against Ben Affleck. Sure, he did some bad movies but in retrospect, Gigli aside, they stuck the boot in way more harshly than necessary. Affleck seemed a little lost as to what he wanted to be. Romantic lead? Comedy star? Action star? Serious actor? He was a big leading man but nothing quite seemed to work and he was struggling to match both the box office impact of Armageddon and the critical acclaim of Good Will Hunting.
That brings us to Surviving Christmas. Release it a decade after and it probably doesn’t end up mauled with an 8% on Rotten Tomatoes. It’s not “good” by any stretch and Affleck’s performance is a little unsteady and awkward, but oddly endearing in a try-hard sort of way. I caught up with it recently after not seeing it since around the time of its first home release and it was surprisingly entertaining with some big laughs. It benefits greatly from having Catherine O’Hara and the late great James Gandolfini, as well as the always reliable Christina Applegate. Though it doesn’t register high with seasonal spirit and charm, it does fire enough gags, pratfalls and enjoyably ridiculous moments to be amusing. Maybe it’s just me, but I guffawed at least five times. Okay, it’s definitely just me.
Jingle All the Way
Here’s perhaps the most reappraised film on the list today. Greeted with dreadful reviews and poor box office returns, Jingle All the Way seemed to signal a death knell in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s career in the comedy genre. After success with Twins and Kindergarten Cop, Junior failed to ignite the box office and Jingle All the Way ended up being a career low to that point.
In time it’s become a cult film with a strong seasonal following from people who have had a newfound appreciation for the so bad it’s good appeal of the film. For one thing, the film seems to have an awkwardly misguided moral compass and occasionally mean-spirited edge that makes it all the more enjoyable. For all its flaws though, Phil Hartman is particularly brilliant as Schwarzenegger’s ingratiating and sleazy neighbour.
Deck the Halls
Speaking of mean-spirited films, this one celebrates neighbours at war, resorting to increasingly outlandish acts of one-upmanship. Deck the Halls, like many films like this tries to steer its characters into rediscovering the true meaning of Christmas. That final act of recognition doesn’t work nearly as well as the neighbourly battle to have the best-decorated house.
Still, Deck the Hall’s constant raising of the stakes and ridiculously over-the-top set pieces make this one way more enjoyable than critics initially thought and it’s got a good pair of leads in Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick as the warring neighbours.
Falling For Christmas
Ticking just about every Christmas movie cliché possible, Falling For Christmas is so formulaic that even Hallmark might have looked at the script and thought it lacked originality. As it is though, the film also marked something of a return to prominence for Lindsey Lohan who is having a good time here. A rich heiress due to marry a rich pillock clonks her head and gets amnesia, falling for a working class, but rakishly handsome (of course) shmoe.
We know every beat and there are no surprises but despite feeling a little cheaply put together, it manages to stuff enough likeability and charm into the film to make it a pleasant and heart-warming Crimbo crowd-pleaser.
Santa Clause: The Movie
One of those childhood favourites that you enjoy but look back on and start to see how riddled with flaws it is. Santa Claus: The Movie didn’t pull up any trees at the box office and got hammered by critics for a story that in actuality veers away from its titular icon for large swathes of the movie. It’s more focused on one of Santa’s Elves, played by Dudley Moore, who runs away from the North Pole and starts designing toys for an unscrupulous toy manufacturer with no care for quality.
Santa is in danger of becoming obsolete until shoddy workmanship on the mass-produced toys puts Christmas under threat. Despite the film’s problems and a run time that isn’t as tight as it needs to be, this still has a pinch of magic and John Lithgow enjoys himself in full scenery-chewing villain mode. David Huddleston is also a really great Claus.
Home Sweet Home Alone
No…seriously…Okay, it’s following on from an iconic Christmas staple and it’s pretty terrible, but dagnabit… I’ve watched this sucker two Christmas’ running now and will probably give it another whirl again this year. There’s just something quaint about how it manages to misfire so many aspects of what made the first two films so successful, not least an inability to time set up imaginative traps and nail the timing of the physical skits. The idea of trying to find a way to make the two burglars seem moral and unfortunate never quite works either. The final twists in the tale are ridiculous but kind of pleasing.
Again, this hits almost every beat you’d expect although the illogical main premise makes the film feel a bit too farcical. However, it’s got a likeable cast including Archie Yates as the precocious trap-setting kid, as well as Rob Delaney and Ellie Kemper (who is always delightful) as the burglars. In fairness, watching with my daughter we found plenty to enjoy in every sequel, even the fourth and fifth not entirely official and dirt cheap straight-to-video entries. Home Sweet Home Alone at least has the distinction of being better than those and as long as it’s viewed in a festive mood, it’s a lot of fun.
What’s your favourite enjoyably bad Christmas movie? Let us know on our social channels @flickeringmyth or hit me up @jolliffeproductions…
