Chris Gelderd presents Flickering Myth’s Christmas Movie Guide…
It’s that time of year already. Stuck for something to watch to get you in the festive spirit, or do you need to kill time with the family? Look no further than our selection of top ten Christmas films that will guarantee to leave you feeling (mostly) all warm, fuzzy and festive inside. And as a bonus, a few film turkeys that should be avoided at all costs, like brussels sprouts. So grab a mince pie and pour a glass of brandy/milk/eggnog and add these Christmas classics to your watchlist!
Christmas classics!
SCROOGED (1988)
A mature spin on a Dickensian classic, this time featuring the deadpan, tiresome master that is Bill Murray as our new ‘Scrooge’, Frank Cross, supported by players such as Karen Allen, Bobcat Goldthwait, John Forsythe, David Johansen and Carol Kane. Forget presents under the tree, this Christmas tale deals with topics such as alcoholism, suicide, homelessness and other festive fun.
Murray steals the show no matter what surreal or comical situation he is placed in, be it facing off against a violent Christmas ghost, dressing up in a dog suit or giving a heartfelt monologue. And of course he can be a bastard to children and the elderly and get away with it, because he’s Bill Murray and he does it all so well.
DIE HARD (1988)
This understated Christmas tale helped make Bruce Willis a global star playing NYPD cop John McClane. Arriving to see his estranged wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) at the Nakatomi Tower in LA, hoping for a quiet family Christmas, McClane instead finds himself up against a group of international terrorists led by the late Alan Rickman.
An 80s action stonker that has everything including swearing, shooting, buckets of blood, bones breaking, massive explosions, FBI gunships, emotional drama, topless women and festive sentiment. And it is set on Christmas Eve so it IS a Christmas film. Case closed.
SANTA CLAUS: THE MOVIE (1985)
There is something very charming about this, one of the few films grounded in its story around Santa Claus; humble origins, traditional toy making, lots of heart and warmth with time spent developing Santa himself, played perfectly by the late David Huddleston and support from cheeky Dudley Moore and dastardly wicked John Lithgow who bring great energy to proceedings.
From the producing team behind Superman: The Movie the similarities can be seen in terms of visual effects and a hideaway in the North Pole. And to be honest, Santa Claus does wear red, he does fly and he does save the world from a Christmas disaster, so this makes Santa canon with the 1978 Superman universe.
A CHRISTMAS CAROL (2009)
For a story that nearly everybody knows so well, the way it is presented is key to staying fresh and current. Director Robert Zemeckis builds on his motion-capture process that brings the story to life with great detail and Victorian atmosphere for a very immersive and often faithful adaptation.
While the film may not be generally suitable for younger viewers thanks to the love of some creepy iconography such as spooky skeletons, terrifying ghosts, feral children and demonic horses, our leading man Jim Carrey as Ebenezer Scrooge carries the story we all know so well, just with added fantastical elements that never fails to please.
ELF (2003)
A nice balance of humour, heart and festive fantasy make Elf a fun watch. This is a wide-eyed spectacle seen through the eyes of Will Ferrell as Buddy the elf in a film that will easily appeal to all ages and make young and old chuckle.
It’s a festive fish-out-of-water story played to great effect, but with lots of sight gags, one-liners and physical comedy. With co-stars such as the late James Caan and Ed Asner, Zooey Deschanel and Mary Steenburgen, it’s full of great energy, charm and family-friendly comedy that is as sweet as maple syrup.
JINGLE ALL THE WAY (1996)
Topped with lots of dry one-liners from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s stressed-out family man on a quest to grab his son an elusive toy on Christmas Eve, mixed with a cartoonish blend of slapstick violence with cheesy special effects, this is sickly, sugary festive family nonsense that you can’t help but find a little soft spot for at the right time of year in the spirit of the season.
Arnie’s classic Christmas film is likeable and enjoyable on the most part, mostly thanks to his now classic lines and daft action, but with memorable support from Rita Wilson, Sinbad, Jake “Anakin Skywalker” Lloyd and the late, great Phil Hartman. One of the “it’s so bad it’s good” offerings. Put that cookie down….NOW!
TRADING PLACES (1983)
A Christmas classic as much as Die Hard is, catering for adults and shying away from sickly sentiment. Yes, there are presents, Christmas trees and a festive chill in the air, but there is plenty of adult humour, swearing, sex and drug references and some brilliant acting to make this very enjoyable.
With a top-tier performance by Eddie Murphy at his peak of verbal and physical comedy playing against a well-spoken, snobbish, clean-cut Dan Aykroyd, it’s ‘Prince And The Pauper’ for the ages. Throw in a young Jamie Lee Curtis, foul-mouthed Paul Gleason, charming Denholm Elliott and cantankerous gits Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy, and it’s Christmas once again!
HOME ALONE (1990)
As influential as it is iconic in terms of Christmas cheer, and to be fair also it’s strong sequel Home Alone 2: Lost In New York, Macauley Culkin become a worldwide star at such as young age thanks to his amazing portrayal as Kevin McCallister; the boy left home alone. Kevin must fend off local burglars Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern as his family race home from Paris to reach him.
Full of heart, festive charm, a beautiful score by John Williams and gag after gag after gag (mostly thanks to Pesci and Stern’s suffering), ‘Home Alone’ is a very family friendly comedy, but builds on an emotional core that keeps family and the spirit of what Christmas truly means very much alive.
THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL (1992)
One of the most popular, warm-hearted and fun interpretations of the classic Dickens tale that many believe to be THE best adaptation, this is one of those films that is just as appealing to adults and children alike. We have a packed cast full of Muppets of every colour and size, some real toe-tapping songs and a memorable turn by British legend Sir Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge.
We’re in fine company with The Great Gonzo, Rizzo Rat, Kermit The Frog, Miss Piggy et al in imaginative sets and special effects, blending live action and puppetry together in many scenes for a really effective world where you can believe Michael Caine is eating dinner with Kermit, or dancing alongside Gonzo. This mix of acting talent and the inimitable Muppets strike a chemistry that is something that sounds ridiculous on paper but comes over very timeless on film.
NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989)
From obtaining a mighty tree out in the wilderness, to wiring up the thousands of decorative lights to the house, hosting a huge family dinner and shopping for gifts, and all around the expectant delivery of an annual work bonus, events fuse together into a chaotic, good old fashioned family Christmas for Chevy Chase and the rest of the Griswolds.
Set around the Griswold home with no need for fantastical special effects, magical stories or epic adventure; this is a festive film we all can relate to, which is why it works so well. The Griswold’s are a likeable bunch and they invite you in from the start to share the holiday with them and experience every annoyance, irk and frustration we too have had over the years with non-stop physical and verbal comedy from a real bunch of professionals on and off camera.
Christmas turkeys!
THE SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE (2006)
Sequel to the beloved The Santa Clause, and the so-so Santa Clause 2, the imagination has run dry and Tim Allen is only here for the pay. His turn as Scott Calvin/Santa has little real heart left in the tank. Even the story adding in Martin Short as Jack Frost can’t help it not being boring and uneventful.
The effects are a little cleaner and the set design is always improving film after film with the North Pole now a town rather than just a small underground workshop, and it’s cute and cuddly and Christmassy, but everything else is just a little lazy with no real meat to get stuck into. Saying that, with the second series of the TV adaptation, maybe this sort of Disney schmaltz is what audiences now want.
CHRISTMAS BLOODY CHRISTMAS (2022)
Who says Christmas films need to be fuzzy, cozy and full of seasonal cheer? This offering is a cheap slasher/comic-horror. It brings together party-focused loners for a kick ass party that soon turns into a bloody nightmare. When a robot mall Santa malfunctions and becomes a killer, it’s down to our irritating, over-acting, foul mouthed, immature and very annoying leads to save the day.
They are the sort of leads you actually hope to meet a dead-end. It’s testing, dumb and full of neon lights that signifies the festive season with lots of grizzly gore, soft-rock, tedious acting and a story that doesn’t warrant time being invested watching it.
CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS (2004)
Another Christmas ham from Tim Allen, now coupled with Jamie Lee Curtis who make for a VERY irritating couple to start with, mixed with a creepy community, this doesn’t give you anything other than maybe a few chuckles. At first our couple want to escape Christmas (it’s been done better), and then it’s all reversed for a mad-cap dash to re-build Christmas (it’s been done better).
Very flat, clichéd characters (lazy cops, grumpy neighbour, cheeky children etc) give you something that is very un-memorable and rather un-funny unless you like your Christmas films over-acted, hammy and tacky. Festive films are usually a mix of all three, but there is a charm and heart to save them. This has nothing like that.
SANTA WHO? (2000)
A cheap TV-movie, populated with a generous amount of over-acting, awful special effects and a cheesy story. Don’t expect Leslie Nielson to be his usual quick-fire self in the comedy stakes, as he spends 90% of his time here as a bumbling, confused Santa.
The crux is that he’s a Santa who has to piece together his memory over 88mins with help from clichéd Christmas characters – a cynical man, a single mother, a wide-eyed child, a cranky TV exec, a smart-ass elf. You know the score. They’re all here and dish out a story about heart, the true spirt of Christmas blah blah blah, it’s hard to care when there’s so much crap to wade through for the eye-rolling inducing ending.
FATHER CHRISTMAS IS BACK (2021)
An eclectic cast including Elizabeth Hurley (and her two co-stars), Kris Marshall, Nathalie Cox, Caroline Quentin, John Cleese and even Kelsey Grammer all play members of a dysfunctional family brought together to enjoy the season together.
The story is simple and a tick-box exercise of how things go wrong, families argue and hard egos are cracked…but good lord whoever wrote this thing needs a few more lessons. The cast don’t seem to know what’s going on, so good luck trying to figure this out yourself with so many relationships and plotlines floating around. Yet, somehow, as Grammer gleefully exclaims about the British – we certainly do Christmas right.
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
Chris Gelderd
