Rumpelstiltskin, 2025.
Directed by Andy Edwards.
Starring Hannah Baxter-Eve, Joss Carter, Adrian Bouchet, Colin Malone, James Dance, and Evyn George.
SYNOPSIS:
A modern retelling of the classic Brothers Grimm fairy tale, albeit a bit more sweary.
What? Not another childhood favourite being given the low budget horror movie treatment? Okay, this isn’t Winnie the Pooh, Popeye or Mickey Mouse but an adaptation of a fairy tale that, if you ever care to read the original Brothers Grimm source and not the child-friendly Penguin Books editions we all grew up with, then you may be pleasantly surprised by how dark and gruesome those stories are. Ripe material to have some fun with then, yes?
Well, sort of, because on the surface of it Rumpelstiltskin is a horror movie in the same vein as the Leprechaun and Wishmaster movies, in that it takes a folkloric character, makes him look grotesque with some fun make-up and sets him loose on unsuspecting victims where he can use his magic to get what he wants.
But those movies take an ancient demonic character and put it in the modern world, whereas this movie is a straight-up(ish) adaptation of the original story, set in medieval times and full of magic and wonder. Well, it would have been if the budget went that high, but it doesn’t and so what we are left with is an ambitious movie that is unable to put everything it wants to achieve on the screen thanks to budgetary restrictions, and so adapts the script ever so slightly to include some, shall we say, spicy dialogue that may or may not have been commonplace during the period in which it is set.
For those unfamiliar with the story of Rumpelstiltskin, the basics are that the King (Colin Malone) wishes to sire a son to continue his bloodline and decides that the beautiful but promiscuous peasant girl Evalina (Hannah Baxter-Eve) shall be his chosen bride after she cons him into thinking she can create gold by spinning straw. Whilst in the castle prison, Evalina is visited by a troll-like creature (Joss Carter) who promises to spin enough gold to satisfy the King in exchange for her handing over her first-born child.
Things go well for Evalina as the King accepts she can spin gold and he marries her, but when she gives birth to a son the troll comes back for his prize, only for Evalina to go back on her deal, but if she can guess the troll’s then she can keep the child.
A story that the movie sticks very faithfully to, and it must be said that Joss Carter and Hannah Baxter-Eve give it their all to make the script come alive – as well as Carter being magnificently mobile as the titular Rumpelstiltskin, dancing around and filling the screen with his menacingly comic persona – but to make up for the visual shortcomings in the effects department, the dialogue is peppered with F and C words in what is likely an attempt to avoid a PG rating because, aside from a very brief flash of female nudity, there is very little else here likely to cause too much distress as the movie is virtually bloodless and the CGI effects for Rumpelstiltskin’s forest demon master aren’t likely to trouble the likes of Industrial Light & Magic. They’re not terrible considering the budget, but are far too cartoonish to add any serious threat.
But there are plenty of positives to take away from this movie, as long as you temper your expectations accordingly. Rumpelstiltskin’s look is fantastic, the costume designs are straight out of Robin of Sherwood and, likewise, showcase a level of care and attention to detail that more expensive productions may have glossed over, and it rolls along at a decent clip without getting bogged down with mythology that movies based on literary sources often do. It is just that by the end of it, after the dodgy visuals, attempts to be edgy with the dialogue and a final act that feels very rushed and underwhelming, Rumpelstiltskin seems like a bit of a wasted opportunity to have done something really savage and nasty with the material, just like The Brothers Grimm no doubt would have wanted, and much like with the budget of this movie, you are left feeling a little short-changed by the end of it.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★ ★ ★
Chris Ward