XxX: Return of Xander Cage, 2017.
Directed by D.J. Caruso.
Starring Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone, Ruby Rose, Tony Jaa, Kris Wu, Nina Dobrev, Rory McCann, Michael Bisping, Hermione Corfield, Toni Collette, Tony González, Samuel L. Jackson, and Ice Cube.
SYNOPSIS:
Xander Cage is left for dead after an incident, though he secretly returns to action for a new, tough assignment with his handler Augustus Gibbons.
Here is all that needs to be known about XxX: Return of Xander Cage: It has probably one of the dumbest and most generic plots to ever grace the action sub-genre of “kicking ass in style while getting the girl”, which doesn’t detract from the experience one bit. Vin Diesel has a clear grasp on why the resurrection of the Fast and Furious series is working, and more importantly, the flavor of balls-to-the-wall, all logic abandoned, f*** physics and gravity ludicrous chaos his fanbase actively wants to see him rebelliously save the day in. It wouldn’t be surprising at all to uncover knowledge that he guided director D.J. Caruso (Eagle Eye, Disturbia) on the tone and style. Keep in mind I have never seen XxX or its sequel (which instead starred Ice Cube who does indeed make a cameo here), but research tells me Xander Cage met a gory demise in a bonus feature on the DVD for the sequel, which is nonchalantly summed up here in 10 seconds as him faking his own death for an extended vacation. That’s how little story matters here, and for those that can roll with the absurdity of every extreme sports stylized death-defying action sequence, they’re going to have a blast.
All that needs to be known about the story is that a band of criminals invaded a high-ranking level CIA office meeting to hijack a device known as Pandora’s Box. And by hijack I mean Donnie Yen leaps across some buildings, makes his entrance by bursting through a glass window, and basically goes all gun-fu on everyone while breakdancing all over the damn tables, mumbling some s*** about being one with the Force (ok, that last part isn’t true but would have been rad). The all-powerful gizmo contains the ability to send random satellites orbiting space crashing down into various areas of the world, including one of which that kills the founder of the XxX program, Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson). The CIA then locates Xander to fix everything.
From there, it’s a bit of a stretch until the next glorious eruption of violence, as there are a few scenes explaining the weapon, along with numerous recruitment scenes. Xander has to be recruited himself first, who then needs to recruit his own gang of trusted partners (Vin doesn’t want any clowns watching his back, dumping a bunch of military personnel out of an airborne private jet in one of the best comedic moments). Xander’s assembled squad is certainly an eclectic bunch, consisting of a sexually ambiguous blue-haired sniper that loves Call of Duty, a getaway driver that prides himself on getting into wrecks, and a DJ who doesn’t really know any useful skills, but you’re not paying attention if you think this movie of all movies won’t find him a purpose.
The movie also has to introduce other characters such as a CIA agent played with a no-nonsense attitude by Toni Collete, a ditzy gadget specialist played by Nina Dobrev (who also has an absolutely hilarious scene when she is forced to use a gun for the first time), and more. So many supporting characters! Each character also has their own awkward introduction scene complete with an information graphic listing off multiple random statistics, some of which are funny and some of which are terribly cringe-worthy. The point is, the first act of the movie isn’t too exciting, but the payoff is ultimately worth it.
To be honest, not every single action sequence is a total rush of adrenaline; some of them actually abruptly end feeling as if there should be at least one more money shot. However, XxX: Return of Xander Cage builds to a fully unhinged string of exhilarating beats of chaos that up the ante going bigger with each new threat and double-cross. Action putting either Vin Diesel or Donnie Yen at the forefront benefit most due to their collective star power and charisma, but also make for diversity in the proceedings in terms of piling up dead bodies. They are both very physical, but obviously, one of them is much quicker, more acrobatic, and dazzles with some decent long takes of martial arts bone breaking. It’s like the old saying goes: heroes need awesome villains.
XxX: Return of Xander Cage function so well as a worthy addition to campy brainless action simply because it never tries to be anything more than just that. The direction embraces stupidity, casual sexism (Vin can get just about any woman he wants, and despite the fact that there are some ass kicking ladies on the squad, there is still an objectification of women by presenting many scantily clad with body-zoom shots), simplified good and evil, and sticks to its strength of zany over-the-top action. Vin Diesel may have just resurrected another franchise.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★ ★
Robert Kojder – Chief Film Critic of Flickering Myth. Check here for new reviews weekly, friend me on Facebook, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com
