The Amazing Spider-Man (don’t forget the hyphen) came out a couple of weeks ago now and, like Prometheus, people are going a bit marmite over it. Here’s a few brief reviews from both sides of the crusty, yellow-capped pot to get you in the dialectic mood. They’re from the YouTube comments section to TASM’s trailer, a forum of profound insight and casual racism / homophobia / misogyny…
THERE ARE SPOILERS EVERYWHERE, BTW : O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
QuassDebonair:
It’s so funny to see how many people are defending Tobey’s. This film was far superior than all of Tobey’s SM films. A.)It’s actually accurate to the comics..Gwen as first gf,making the web shooters,etc etc,B.)There’s no bias against villians like dumbass Raimi had against venom and ****ed him up,and C.)Spider-man was actually sarcastic and making jokes in this one. Haters gonna hate..This spider-man is the true spiderman. Maybe someday these dumb****s will read the comics;)
espirates2:
the movie sucked ass and balls…
And a rare bit of love for Spider-Man 3,
brutha99able:
before i start this comment dont u people nag a person u dont even know about his opinion, i hate that old aurging over the computer; i like this spiderman because the fight scenes are more better but i perfur the old storyline, **** gwen stacy (love emma stone though) wheres harry he always has his bestbfriend harry in the story SOMEWHERE mary jane watson is better and it would have been better they could have had more than one bad guy it be more interesting like in spiderman 3
It’s divisive. And for the record, I hate marmite.
One of the problems I found with TASM was how the film treated the consequences of Peter Parker’s (Andrew Garfield) actions. They either ignored/glossed over Parker behaving like a bit of a douchebag, or glorified it. Here’s an easy-to-digest Top 5…
5. He doesn’t comfort Aunt May after the death of her husband (for which he’s arguably responsible)
| Great casting |
You know what it’s like. You’re a hormonal teenager, easily agitated with most things – particularly parents asking you to do stuff – and you’ve just been bitten by a radioactive spider. Suddenly, the confines of your bedroom are too restricting. You’re restless; you want to swing from rooftops and not care about picking up the Aunt (Sally Fields) who raised you in place of your dead parents. Dammit, you’re gonna do your homework on the front porch’s roof if you want.
Everything is an effort, especially concerning the feelings of others. Teenagers have a tendency for self-absorption, which is masterfully demonstrated by Peter Parker ignoring his freshly widowed Aunt after he accidentally caused Uncle Ben’s (Michael Sheen) death.
Because he didn’t have enough money for a milkshake or something.
There is not one scene post-Ben that shows Peter comforting Aunt May. There’s a brief shot of May hunched over as if she’s crying in the living room, but Peter has somewhere better to be. And during this time – who’s picking her up from work? Has she had to walk home from work in the dark every night since? Isn’t that what caused a big row between Ben and Peter in the first place?
What a…
4. He attacks the audience
| He used his right wrist to beat off a gang of criminals |
It’s an easy gimmick to fall prey to. The film is in 3D, after all. How can we shoot TASM and not have one bit where he fires his webby discharge directly into the camera? People would go away feeling short changed. Because that’s what cinema audiences want – less film, more theme park ride.
Sure, Sam Raimi did it, but his films were in glorious Two-D. The web stopped at the screen, not exploding all over the cinema’s collective face, like some grotesque bukkake (if you’re reading this at work, DO NOT IMAGE SEARCH THAT WORD).
Marc Webb (huh, I never noticed his last name before…) uses this as the film’s final image, the one you leave the cinema with etched in your mind/all over your face. Peter Parker’s parting shot, if you will.
What a…
3. He doesn’t come dressed up for dinner/creepily enters through bedroom window.
There’s a scene in the film where Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) invites Parker over for dinner. We’ll ignore quite why she’s attracted to Peter and skip to what fundamentally makes him a bit of a **** here.
First off, he dresses super casually. Like, amazingly casually.
Mr. Stacy (Denis Leary), the household’s patriarch, is also the policeman tasked with arresting the masked vigilante. He’s a man you want to impress if you’re dating his daughter (and if you’re secretly said masked vigilante).
And anyways, it’s what you’re meant to do on first dates with the parents like these – dress smart. Not in a hoody. In fact, never in a hoody.
Secondly, and perhaps more creepily and outdated, he enters the Stacy apartment via fire escape.
If you get past the initial weirdness of the entrance, as Gwen does alarmingly quickly (how often does this happen to her?), you then crash head first into a brick wall of logistics. From the exterior shots, the Stacy apartment looks to be pretty high up. No one would believe he climbed all that way. His first excuse, of a self-important door man denying him entry (perhaps dress a little smarter?), crumbles with the existence of mobile phones.
But most difficult of all is how Gwen and Peter explain his sudden appearance in her bedroom when then going for dinner. Gwen could say she sneaked him in, but that’s rude of Peter not to introduce himself.
This is a first date, where you are meeting the parents for the first time. Not Clarissa Explains It All.
What a…
2. He takes photos of Gwen Stacy when she’s not looking
| YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DIE! |
Peter’s bedroom computer has a photo of Gwen adorning his desktop wallpaper. Shortly after we first see this, we learn that Gwen doesn’t even know his name. It’s rather cute if they were childhood friends, or knew each other for a long time, but Gwen is almost completely unaware of Peter’s existence.
That means Peter’s attraction towards Gwen is largely sexual. Understandable. She’s an attractive lady, and he’s a hormonal teenager (Andrew Garfield is 28). But to have a desktop-large photo on your private computer? That pips fire-escape-entrance in creepiness terms.
Because teenage boys use their bedroom computers for pornography. This is an undisputed fact. So every time Parker lets some web fluid fly, he’ll close down his [Private Browsing] windows to look upon Gwen’s face. She’s the “money shot,” as a friend of mine once said. All before every properly making her acquaintance. Uncle Ben even jokes about it, the sick bastard.
But it’s OK. He has a Rear Window poster on his wall.
What a…
1. He goes back on his girlfriend’s dying father’s wish (again, you can argue he’s responsible for the whole ‘dying’ state here, too)
Somehow, despite all the above, Gwen takes a liking to Peter. They smooch, Peter reveals his bit-on-the-side (Spider-Man) and they save New York. What they don’t save, however, is Gwen’s father.
Captain Stacy dies at the awkward, CGI hands of the Lizard (Rhys Ifans) near the film’s end. Atop OsCorp towers, the Captain whispers his final wish to Parker. “Leave Gwen out of it,” he makes Peter promise. He’s sacrificed his own life so those in New York could live, and the most important one to him is his daughter’s.
Which is good. It’s a little dark and sets things up nicely for a sequel. Until the last exchange of dialogue.
It’s between Peter and a teacher. He’s late for class (as always), and takes a desk seated behind Gwen. He apologises and says it won’t happen again.
Teacher: “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Peter.”
Parker: “But they’re the best kind.”
He speaks the line leaning a little into Gwen’s ear. It’s a roundabout way of saying, “let’s go have intercourse on your father’s grave.”
That’s your hero, folks. The one who betrays a dying man’s wish for the sexual gratification of his daughter.
The film glorifies this as its ‘feel-good’ ending.
What a…
Oliver Davis
