Piranha 3DD, 2012.
Directed by John Gulager.
Starring Danielle Panabaker, Ving Rhames, David Hasselhoff, Christopher Lloyd, David Koechner, Chris Zylka, Megan Tandy, Katrina Bowden, Matt Bush and Gary Busey.
SYNOPSIS:
After the events of the previous film, all seems to be well for a newly opened pool complex. But events conspire to trap everyone in a pool of water with the titular flesh eating monsters.
Before seeing this movie, I originally intended to see The Hunger Games. While this could be the lead up to a poor joke concerning similarities in concerns to the title of one and plot of another (which I’ll just point out and not tell. I mean, what am I, an ass?), I was secretly quite happy when I was ‘forced’ to see Piranha 3DD. I highly enjoyed the first one for its perverse, twisted humour and the fact that it never took itself too seriously. You get what you pay for. There are piranhas and there are double D’s. Anything else on top is gravy, making it an oddly specific stereotypes dream (do people in the north piranha-fish? Who cares, this is my stereotype).
I’d like to stop everyone from getting into the argument about why suspending your disbelief and liking a film just because it was a bit of fun is a bad thing. It’s a redundant argument at this time. While Piranha 3DD is silly, it is not stupid. Some of the gags in it are a bit left field, for sure, but there are some smart moments found amongst the blood and guts. And if you have those moments, you can get away with a bit of fun.
For example, the big hitters all obviously have fun with the material. Particularly Christopher Lloyd, who returns as scene stealing and chewing mad Piranha theorist Doctor Goodman. And a cameo I was unaware of within the first scene got me very excited at the insane prospects within (I could say ‘let’s get Busey!’ Or… I could just say it was Gary Busey).
Some of these prospects are a bit of a let down, however. Ving Rhames as the police officer terrified of water (after having his legs bitten off in the first film… it’s all very complex) isn’t given enough time to shine. But even if given enough time, I doubt anyone could beat Hasselhoff. Having easily the funniest sequence in the movie as well as the funniest lines, he sends himself and his most famous role up throughout proceedings. While in some circles he’s become, let’s face it, a bit of a joke, you forgive him for taking most of the screen time once he shows up. Because it’s just hilarious in a completely silly, utterly fantastic way.
And just like its predecessor, Piranha 3DD never takes itself too seriously. What struck me throughout, though, was the much more nihilistic tone the film took. To use a phrase that sounds like complete and utter rank (as Roy Hodgson wouldn’t say): While it didn’t care, Piranha 3DD isn’t as carefree as the first. You don’t care about the extras caught up in the piranha pool. And when the piranhas do first enter the water park, their intro is done in a flash and we’re suddenly back to the silliness. There aren’t the heroics of the first film.
There is the typical boy loves girl, boy saves girl, girl loves boy tale (as well as the criminally underused boy loves girl, piranha loves eating, piranha loves boy’s penis subplot), it makes way for a movie that just likes telling (sometimes) disgusting jokes. Characters aren’t really developed (our hero’s development goes from not being able to swim to… being able to tie something heavy to himself so he can walk on the bottom of the pool). But it looks and sounds good enough to be a decent film. Everything’s polished and all the production values are where they should be. The CG on the piranhas isn’t life changing, but it’s easily good enough to pass here.
What makes Piranha 3DD so good is that they didn’t rein it in. They could’ve tried for a PG-13, made some decent cash and called it a day. But they didn’t. They made it silly and unapologetic in its humour, even if any deep emotion was… ahem… left at the bottom of the ocean. Like the monsters in the movie, this film takes anything you typically care about in stories (character development, good taste… sanity in some cases) and chews them up in a quick flash. They even left things open for a sequel, mentioned first by Doctor Goodman’s book about piranhas walking on land. That’s right. The piranhas are evolving!
Flickering Myth Rating: Film ★ / Movie ★ ★ ★ ★
Matt Smith
