Tom Jolliffe digs deep into The Dusty VHS Corner for a trio of straight to video actioners featuring some of the biggest stars of the squared circle…
During the 80’s when the WWE was developing into the larger than life, sometimes cartoony drama that introduced the world to things like Hulkamania and story arcs straight out of soaps, to be one of the top wrestlers you needed presence, personality and showmanship. There were some strong personalities in the wrestling arena, and the immense popularity of Vince McMahon’s entertainment machine seemed to suggest that for a select few, the transition from wrestler to acting superstar could be an easy, and potentially lucrative one.
Long before Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson broke into movies and became the big box-office draw that he is today, a host of grapplers in years gone by have attempted the same, without hitting those heights. Arguably the most popular and charismatic wrestler of all time, Hulk Hogan could well have been a box-office behemoth. Aside from his appearance in Rocky III (as Thunderlips the wrestler) though, Hogan’s box office appeal was disappointing, and he would eventually find himself releasing a string of straight to video action or kids films. Hogan’s film career has largely been a succession of poorly chosen, conceived and delivered films, whilst his charisma never translated to the film medium. His acting, to put it kindly, was also not good.
Aside from Hogan a whole host of wrestling superstars have tried their hand at acting over the last 30 years, including Andre the Giant, Roddy Piper, Stone Cold Steve Austin, John Cena and Triple H. A few were lucky enough to start off on the big screen, though inevitably, all end up going direct to video due to questionable choices and sometimes even more questionable acting ability.
So here I look at a selection of some wrestling greats forays into the world of VHS. Let the pile-drivers commence.
Tough and Deadly (1995)
Roddy Piper’s transition from wrestler to movie star seemed to start quite well. In 1988 he had a double whammy introduction as a cinematic leading man with two cult films. Firstly there was Hell Comes to Frogtown, a frankly bizarre, but very entertaining post-apocalyptic film which sees Piper going up against a band of mutant frog people. Definitely a must see for lovers of cult cinema. Then came They Live. This saw Piper able to work with a director as lauded and popular as John Carpenter, and the film more than delivered with quality. Sadly it didn’t deliver at the box-office and it would be in years passing that the true genius of They Live would become most appreciated. From then on Piper’s cinematic career plummeted quickly into a succession of mostly mediocre action films which bypassed theatrical release.
Perhaps most disappointingly in terms of Piper’s career was the fact that, though not a fantastic actor by any means, he does have a good on screen presence and plenty of charisma, making his transition from sports entertainer to actor pretty well. Despite being mostly relegated to the bottom shelf of blockbusters though, Piper normally elevates his films and rarely phones in a performance. He remains watchable in films like Tough and Deadly.
Here Piper gets to do the buddy movie formula with Billy “Tae Bo” Blanks. What Blanks lacks in charisma, Piper more than makes up for. Tough and Deadly is actually a really solid little action film. There are an array of fight sequences for both Piper and Blanks, including a fantastic smack-down between the two of them. The film crackles with the sort of energy you have in films like Lethal Weapon and Rush Hour. It of course isn’t nearly as good as those (especially Lethal Weapon) but for a video premiere it’s a greatly entertaining piece of work.
With wall to wall action and plenty of wisecracking, Tough and Deadly delivers what carnage lovers crave, and plenty of it. Piper elevates things and he and Blanks work well together. Blanks is pretty wooden but still seems to play off Piper quite well. Blanks main field of expertise though is martial arts and he’s an excellent on-screen fighter. The two would also re-team for Back in Action which is also an entertaining smack-em-up.
Beer rating: ★ (can be enjoyed sober)
Assault on Devil’s Island (1997)
Two former Rocky franchise stars re-convene here, as Hulk Hogan plays the leader of an elite group of Navy Seals which include Carl Weathers. A group of athletes are kidnapped and McBride (Hogan) and his team must head to a fortress island called Devi’ls Island to retrieve them and take down fiendish wrong-doer Carlos Gallardo, who is played by fiendish wrong-doer specialist, Billy Drago.
Hogan gets in on the run and gun shenanigans of Stallone and Schwarzenegger here. There’s plenty of explosions and heavy weaponry, though of course not as much as the big budget rivals.
As a leading man of action, Hogan is pretty bland here. He’s in the requisite shape expected from the Hulkamaniacs and action fans who watch these sorts of films, but to watch him you wouldn’t realise he was the most charismatic and magnetic showman in wrestling history. Weathers appears bored out of his mind, though even at this point, long after his last appearance as Creed, he was in exceptional physical condition.
Alongside Hogan and Weathers as the glamour of the team is Shannon Tweed. The former Playboy bunny and wife of Kiss legend Gene Simmon’s, Tweed’s film career mostly saw her taking her clothes off in soft-core erotic thrillers. The sort that used to appear past midnight on Channel 5 and which entertained me greatly when I was 15. Honestly, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Body Chemistry 4: Full Exposure. Don’t worry about the previous three. Just the fourth. Usually the femme-fatale, this is a change of pace for Tweed, though within two minutes of the films start she’s got her ta-ta’s out, just to appease any of her fan base I suppose. As an action woman? Well, she’s given a couple of fight sequences which look like the sort of ill-prepared, haphazardly performed martial arts fights you’d see in a 70’s porn film. That aside she gets to fire guns, and not just in the dead of night at rich husbands.
Devil’s Island was one of two films starring Hogan, Weathers and Tweed as elite Seals. Presumably this was to either start a franchise or be the starting point of a potential TV show. In any case, aside from the two films, the adventures of Mike McBride didn’t continue, and for good reason. Both films are pretty terrible. There’s a solid enough cast outside the principle leads here, with Martin Kove, Billy Drago, Billy Blanks and Trevor Goddard all appearing, but it all just falls flat.
Beer rating: ★ ★ ★ ★
Firepower (1993)
My final pick allows me to pay tribute to my favourite childhood wrestler, the late, great, Ultimate Warrior. He starred in a film! Yes, true. Just the one.
Firepower, courtesy of PM Entertainment sees cops Braniff (Chad McQueen) and Sledge (Gary Daniels) having to infiltrate the hell zone, an area of future LA that’s entirely run by criminals. They must pose as Death Match tournament fighters in order to expose a counterfeit AIDS vaccination supply (yes, seriously). Within the Death Match circuit the man to beat is The Swordsman (played by the Warrior).
Now Firepower isn’t the greatest action film you’ll see but it has it’s values. It’s from PM, meaning there’s a good car chase in it and some impressive stunts. Despite the silly plot too, it essentially follows the tournament fight film formula, so there are plenty of reasonably filmed fight sequences which show off Daniels’ prowess. McQueen (son of Steve) on the other hand isn’t quite as impressive on screen during the throw-downs.
So what of the Ultimate one? Well, credited by his real name, Jim Hellwig (before he legally changed it to Warrior), he’s basically just playing the Ultimate Warrior again. Wild hair, lots of chest thumping, arm pumping, grunting and growling. That said, as a villain, Warrior cuts an imposing figure, absolutely towering over everyone else in the film. How good an actor Warrior was is hard to judge as he pretty much has only one line of dialogue in the entire film (and he’s in a good chunk of it too) and even then it’s only about six words. I don’t know, I suppose you could count more but do “grarrr” or “rrraaaaarrrrggg” count as words?
All the little warriors out there unaware of the films existence might want to check it out to see their hero in action, otherwise it’s a solid enough, if forgettable slice of video action.
Beer rating: ★ ★ ★
Next time: Anthony Hickox from Sundown to Full Eclipse.
Tom Jolliffe
