Diamonds for Breakfast, 1968.
Directed by Christopher Morahan.
Starring Marcello Mastroianni, Rita Tushingham, Elaine Taylor, Margaret Blye, Francesca Tu, and The Karlins.
SYNOPSIS:
In order to steal back his family’s diamonds, Nicky puts together a team of female thieves guaranteed to run circles around museum security (his diamonds are on exhibit).
Whether it’s really likely one of the Romanovs survived their family’s massacre, or our reluctance to relinquish the idea that keeps it alive, plenty of characters (real and fictional) have claimed to be descendants of the late Russian czar over the years (most recently on the Amazon anthology series, The Romanoffs, from Mad Men’s Matthew Weiner).
Diamonds for Breakfast is a British comedy about a jewel heist orchestrated by Nicholas Wladimirovitch Goduno (8 ½’s Marcello Mastroianni). If the name wasn’t a giveaway, he’s the one claiming to have royal blood, while the jewels he’s looking to steal were once owned by his parents.
In a brilliant opening sequence, filmed as a silent movie, Nicky’s father gambles the last, imperial diamonds away after learning his wife has given birth to a son. The sequence, which ends on Baby Nicky’s silent scream, takes us into the opening credits, where Mastroianni sings the title song and there are diamond-shaped photos of Nicky growing up, that eventually switch to color, after starting out in black and white.
The other thing the credits set-up is Nicky’s fondness for women. According to the ghost of his great-grandfather (also played by Mastroianni), who Nicky starts to see after slipping on a banana peel, being good in bed is “the family gift,” so while Nicky realizes he has no chance of carrying out a heist by himself (a nice lack of machoism to counteract his lothario status), he decides to recruit a team of female thieves to help him.
“Playful” is the first word that comes to mind to describe Diamonds for Breakfast and that’s what you get from this movie from the start. It’s also a film that feels very much of the 60’s. All of the girls are wearing miniskirts and go-go boots (if not pure lingerie) and whenever they need a distraction, it’s a quick, reliable source.
In order to get access to the jewels, which are on display at a museum, Nicky (with the help of his Aunt Anastasia (Nora Nicholson), *wink wink*) proposes that they hold a charity fashion show. The finer points of their plan are less than polished, and explanations sometimes come after they’re needed, like when you’re watching them go to a lot of trouble to put a hole in the floor without really knowing that’s what they came to accomplish, or why.
Usually in these movies a few of the girls get lost in the background, and Rita Tushingham technically has top billing, but her screen time isn’t significantly greater than anyone else’s and the film is excitingly fair about giving everyone showcase scenes. Margaret Blye is fun as a cat burglar, Honey, whose glee at giving the police chase rivals actress, Sally Kellerman’s, in Robert Altman’s Brewster McCloud two years later, but all of the characters in this movie are fun to watch – Victoria (Elaine Taylor), Jeanne (Francesca Tu), the triplets (played by sister singing group, The Karlins) – and sell what is otherwise a far-fetched, if winning, little caper.
Diamonds for Breakfast will be available February 5th on Blu-Ray and DVD from Kino Lorber in the US.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★ ★
Rachel Bellwoar
