Zombie Lake, 1981.
Directed by Jean Rollin.
Starring Howard Vernon, Pierre-Marie Escourrou, Anouchka, Antonio Mayans, and Lynn Monteil.
SYNOPSIS:
A French village becomes overrun with Nazi soldiers killed in World War II who have returned as zombies.
The launch title for new label Black House Films, 1981’s Zombie Lake is considered something of a classic amongst genre devotees so for a new label trying to establish itself by putting out a series of Euro-horror staples it makes sense to start with a well-known title. However, movies can be called a ‘classic’ for many different reasons and being good is not always one of them, and Zombie Lake is definitely not a good film.
In fact, it is an absolute turkey and when you look into its production history and discover that original director Jesus Franco (Vampyros Lesbos/White Cannibal Queen) – a man not exactly known for his scruples when it came to filmmaking – walked away from the project over a dispute with the budget and was replaced by fellow Euro-sleaze merchant Jean Rollin (The Living Dead Girl/Two Orphan Vampires), you realise that Zombie Lake was doomed from the start. Ironically, it is the start of Zombie Lake that is the best bit as we get two minutes of a naked woman swimming in the titular lake (which clearly isn’t a lake – how many lakes do you know have tiled surfaces?) after disregarding the sign that warns to keep out. After some extreme close-ups of naked flesh bobbing around in the toxic water we get the first attack from the Nazi zombies and from then on in the film gets worse, and by worse that means the biggest crime of all – it is incredibly boring.
Once the plot, such as it is, moves on and we get more scenes of zombies making their way to the nearby village and making themselves known to the locals, the movie shambles along for about 80 minutes with no real direction or idea of what it wants to be, as this isn’t just a Nazi zombie gorefest; actually, it isn’t a Nazi zombie gorefest at all but rather a plodding commentary on the hazards of tampering with the environment. But not only that, it is also a family melodrama about how a German soldier fathered a child during the French occupation and now that soldier has risen from the grave to go and visit his daughter. No, it really is.
And the zombies? Oh, the zombies. There have been some shoddy looking zombies in any number of cheap, direct-to-DVD crap-fests but Zombie Lake boasts the worst of the worst. These zombies are literally extras painted green, and paint is probably right as this does not look like any make-up that has come from an effects department and readily smears off whenever the ghouls come into contact with another person. This, the snail-like pacing and any number of production goofs, such as visible crew members and equipment plus a skewered timeline that features some very fetching late ‘70s/early ‘80s fashions despite the fact the film is supposedly set in the 1950s, make enjoying Zombie Lake on any level near enough impossible and probably the most painful 83 minutes you’ll ever have outside of dental surgery. It’s not fun, it’s not entertaining, it’s not so-bad-it’s-good – it is rubbish, plain and simple. And if Jesus Franco walking away from it wasn’t strange enough, Jean Rollin spent most of his remaining years denying that he had anything to do with it. That’s two of the mainstays of European softcore sleaze not really giving a monkey’s about this movie, so why should anyone else? Yes, this film is a cult classic due to its title and the timing of its original release as it came out during the exciting early years of VHS but not for actually being watchable.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★
Chris Ward
