Bad Boys: Ride or Die, 2024.
Directed by Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah.
Starring Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Vanessa Hudgens, Alexander Ludwig, Paola Nuñez, Eric Dane, Ioan Gruffudd, Jacob Scipio, Melanie Liburd, Tasha Smith, Tiffany Haddish, Joe Pantoliano, Rhea Seehorn, Dennis Greene, Derek Russo, Dennis Greene, Quinn Hemphill, Fatima, Gabriel ‘G-Rod’ Rodriguez, Jenna Kanell, and King Judah.
SYNOPSIS:
When their former captain is implicated in corruption, two Miami police officers have to work to clear his name.
Whether there is a reason behind the stylistic choice or not, Bad Boys: Ride or Die directors Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah are credited as Adil & Bilall, which fits since both of their installments into this series come across as half of a vision, this time with their innovative and occasionally breathlessly kinetic action sequences fighting against a horrendous, unfunny, deeply unserious despite halfhearted attempts to be about something, obnoxious screenplay from the writing team of Chris Bremner and Will Beall (based on characters created by George Gallo.)
Taking over from Michael Bay with 2020’s Bad Boys For Life with this next entry bringing superstar Will Smith back into the Hollywood spotlight (rest assured, the infamous “slap” is embarrassingly referenced in self-deprecating, apologetic fashion, although what I really want an apology for is that this series exists), Ride or Die doubles down on trying and failing to have Miami’s finest police officers grow as people (which, this time feels inserted as PR spin solely to let people know that the real Will Smith has also matured), whilst tripling down on the comic relief for Martin Lawrence to the degree that, five minutes into the movie, he doesn’t even resemble an actual human being.
The first set piece here involves Detectives Mike Lowery and Marcus Burnett (Will Smith and Martin Lawrence) speeding through the city in a hurry to reach a destination on time, with the former on the verge of hurling and begging to stop the vehicle so he can dash into a gas station and grab something to drink. Those two sentiments don’t even make sense alongside one another, and it only becomes more nonsensical once, inside the store, Marcus is also unable to resist a day-old hotdog that, to him, looks delicious. The food is probably as nauseatingly stale as a Bad Boys movie.
Away from the job, Mike has just tied the knot to Melanie Liburd’s Christine, whereas Marcus has a heart attack and sees his life and glimpses of the future flashing before his eyes. Marcus awakes in a hospital beside his loyal partner and friend Mike, choosing not to wake him up for the feel-good moment (not that such a scene would actually be emotional.) Instead, he mischievously smiles, runs off to the roof of the building, and walks to the ledge, obsessed with spirituality and reincarnation (he believes that in a previous life, he owned and was mistreated by a donkey that was Mike.) More baffling, Marcus is convinced he can’t die, willing to moonwalk into heavy traffic to prove it.
I honestly have no idea what the hell I’m saying anymore through recounting all of this, which is appropriate since, in a bad way, I also couldn’t believe what I was watching and how anyone could find this funny. It certainly doesn’t fit into a grander narrative about their dead captain and trusted ally Conrad (Joe Pantoliano), framed for decades of corruption, financially gaining from working alongside the cartels before his demise. Unsurprisingly, he had apparently been looking into this across several movies and keeping it hidden from Mike and Marcus, leaving behind failsafe video logs to send whenever the trail got hot. Putting it bluntly, nothing is interesting about the villain here, either.
Marcus, who had just had a heart attack, is under direct orders from his family to cease strenuous activity and also become a vegetarian even though all he really wants are some Doritos that continuously get cringe product placement. He comes along for the adventure, anyway, with that health condition being an afterthought and never once again coming into play. Meanwhile, Mike has begun having panic attacks in the field, specifically before pulling the trigger on targets from a distance. Mike’s long-lost imprisoned son Armando (Jacob Scipio) also gets an opportunity to play hero, giving the impression that this series will be another Fast and Furious where no misdeed is irredeemable.
When the awful attempts at comedy are put on the back burner, Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah consistently impress with varied action sequences, ranging from prison fights, a hand-to-hand elevator battle with intentionally disorienting camera movements tilting into strange angles and panning back outside the left, and an abandoned amusement park showdown that indulges in excess, paying lip service to Michael Bay. There are missiles deployed to kill just one person, a hungry gigantic gator roaming around, people leaping upwards and downwards on metal structures, and chaotic shootouts complete with swirling drone camera work, first-person shooter perspectives, and creative shots such as sticking with the perspective of a handgun as it’s tossed between characters.
There are also moments when the humor starts to click, primarily because Mike and Marcus are alert and reacting to the danger of their situations (the eventual payoff to Marcus’ running gag believing he can’t die admittedly works, even if everything before it is grating.) It also helps that one particularly funny gag comes from a believable miscommunication.
Even when Bad Boys: Ride or Die is outlandishly annoying, Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah use their music video background and film experience thus far to incorporate a distinct aesthetic and neon lighting into the frenetic violence. They are talented action filmmakers stuck working within the massive flaws and expectations of a terrible action series, seemingly interested in the human aspects of Mike and Marcus, presumably told by the studio at every turn it instead needs more insultingly moronic humor.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com
