Pet Sematary: Bloodlines, 2023.
Directed by Lindsey Anderson Beer.
Starring Jackson White, Forrest Goodluck, Jack Mulhern, Henry Thomas, Natalie Alyn Lind, Isabella LaBlanc, Pam Grier, David Duchovny, Samantha Mathis, Glen Gould, Vincent Leclerc, Karl Graboshas, Jude Beny, Auden Larratt, John W. Lawson, Elliot Miville-Deschênes, and Aron Benali.
SYNOPSIS:
In 1969, a young Jud Crandall has dreams of leaving his hometown of Ludlow, Maine behind, but soon discovers sinister secrets buried within and is forced to confront a dark family history that will forever keep him connected to Ludlow.
This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, Pet Sematary: Bloodlines wouldn’t exist.
Paramount’s choice to skip giving Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (a prequel to one of Stephen King’s famed book accomplishments and following up a successful remake of the original film) a traditional theatrical release window (it is mostly being sent to their streaming service, getting very limited distribution in cinemas) during a big-screen landscape where nearly anything horror-related is going to perform decently, probably tells one everything they need to know about the quality here.
However, before even getting into why Pet Sematary: Bloodlines fails as a horror movie, it’s important to note that it’s dead in the sour earth from its opening moments simply for making no timeline sense. That’s not to say filmmakers are beholden to the source material and shouldn’t have creative freedom to forge their path, but simultaneously, if the focus is going to be pinned on fan-favorite character Jud Crandall (previously played by the late great Fred Gwynne and John Lithgow) in 1969, he probably shouldn’t be a young man (here played by the dull Jackson White) when he is in his 70s, give or take some years, in the original story.
Pet Sematary: Bloodlines makes even less sense applying the argument that this is solely based on the novel released in 1983. And if it’s meant to be a prequel to the remake, it sure as hell is not being sold that way in any synopsis. Furthermore, when viewers think of Jud, they think of the novel or Fred Gwynne. Why stick to the remake if you explore something unseen on screen that is also source material within the novel? Presumably, the appeal would be presenting those gruesome events from the novel in cinematic form for the first time, not expanding on a solid remake that is not the attraction when it comes to this slice of Stephen King’s lore.
Perhaps this is excessively nitpicky, but director Lindsey Anderson Beer (co-writing alongside Jeff Buhler) has nothing going on here to distract from those thoughts beyond a brilliant central concept that, rather than plunging into it for thematic substance, is used as a means for bland slasher kills and gore. Of course, there are also animals resurrected from the dead, but the filmmakers have so many scenes punctuated by semi-trucks speeding across the roads the nostalgia-riffing quickly becomes insulting and aggravating.
Nevertheless, the story begins with David Duchovny’s Bill after experimenting with bringing the family dog back to life, burying his killed-in-Vietnam son—Timmy (Jack Mulhern, decent enough at playing shellshocked and unhinged) in the titular Pet Sematary. For the unfamiliar, it is a land formerly owned by Native Americans (they didn’t want it anymore) where the spirits of animals are used to ward off an invisible evil. That demonic presence also feeds on the dead, finding it easier to possess individuals who can’t put up a fight. It doesn’t make much sense and somehow makes even less sense once the 17th-century flashback arrives (complete with laughably bad period recreation that would probably look embarrassing even in a cosplay scene), giving off the impression that the filmmakers are trying to do too much.
Meanwhile, this young take on Jud has a fractured relationship with his father (Henry Thomas) and is prepping to leave small-town Ludwor from Michigan with his girlfriend Norma (Natalie Alyn Lind) to join the Peace Corps. That has the makings of a dynamic that should be compelling opposite a traumatized Vietnam soldier. Not to mention, the chilling metaphor that a soldier returning from Vietnam may as well already be dead provides endless storytelling opportunities.
There is also Manny (Forrest Goodluck) and his sister Donna (Isabella LaBlanc), serving as Native American representation and their unique perspective on the mythology, with the former bitter that his friend is leaving town and he, apparently, can’t. They all used to be friends with Timmy, which is mostly used as the thinnest motivation imaginable for him to kill them. This is frustrating since the film is momentarily engaging when it is about these characters searching for purpose in life.
Instead, Pet Sematary: Bloodlines lumbers its way toward Jud uncovering secrets withheld from him about this cursed locale. It’s tedious and amateurishly shot with horrendously ugly color grading. There isn’t a single scare, chase, or kill sequence that generates any suspense, and certainly no sense of the terrifyingly relatable moral drama at the heart of the original story. Sometimes, sending your movie to streaming instead of embarrassing yourself in theaters is better.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com
