Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 2014.
Directed by Jonathan Liebesman.
Starring Megan Fox, Alan Ritchson, Jeremy Howard, Pete Ploszek, Noel Fisher, Will Arnett, Danny Woodburn, William Fichtner, Johnny Knoxville, and Tony Shalhoub.
SYNOPSIS:
Darkness has settled over New York City as Shredder and his evil Foot Clan have an iron grip on everything from the police to the politicians. The future is grim until four unlikely outcast brothers rise from the sewers and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles must work with fearless reporter April O’Neil and her cameraman Vern Fenwick to save the city and unravel Shredder’s diabolical plan
I’m a huge TMNT fan. If you visit this site regularly you’ll know that. The original 1990 live action film is one my all time favourites. Faithful, funny, and surprisingly adult; it’s highly under appreciated.
Putting aside my love for that film, there are still two massive obstacles between me and any enjoyment for the latest take on the heroes in a half shell.
Those are the current IDW TMNT comic series (that I review monthly) and the current Nickelodeon TMNT TV show (I’m currently halfway through season 2).
I’ll even go as far as swiping a line from the bus stop posters for the new film and say they’re both ‘Turtle-y Awesome’. Both are reassuringly familiar yet fresh and exciting.
I feel very lucky to have two takes that nail it, as if this was the only slice of Ninja Turtle action we were being provided with I’d be sorely disappointed.
This is not a bad film. But it does have more than it’s fair share of problems, which are compounded by the fact it’s being done far better in two other mediums at the same time.
What is good then? Well, I have a shock for you. I didn’t think Megan Fox was terrible. I know right!? A yellow jacket is never going to put her on the same level as the excellent Judith Hoag but she isn’t annoying and fits in with the overall vibe well (take that how you will). It might be a back-handed compliment but the fact she didn’t stick out as particularly good or bad to me is a triumph.
The action scenes are cool too, with the snow based scene many will have seen in the trailers the main spectacle. It’s good to see the turtles away from the sewers and rooftops for a different sort of battle. They’re fights are well choreographed, exciting, and the mo-cap tech used to create them is far better at showing off their skills than anything that came before cinematically.
The bond between the brothers is present and strong, as is their relationship with Master Splinter. He’s quite the task master, and not averse to punishing them. Splinter has always been a mix of father and coach, and though I’m not sure about his design I can’t fault his portrayal.
It’s exciting to see a new take on the design on the characters but it’s a mixed bag. With lips and nostrils the anthropomorphism has been taken too far for my liking. The detail and how the actors performances have been transferred is to be commended, but it’s spoilt by really obvious touches like giving Donnie glasses (because he’s clever obviously, ugh). The size of our heroes is odd too. They aren’t just human size, but bulky, 7 foot tall bruisers; which make them seem a weird fit for being ninjas.
Continuing on the turtles themselves, they’re personalities are clearly defined in the usual ways but two things really stuck out to me. The first is Michaelangelo’s pervy attitude towards to April. The original film struck a very adult tone, with robbery, violence and smoking all dealt with in a way that didn’t make them seem cool whilst not hitting you over the head with a ‘it’s bad m’kay’ message. Here though Mikey talks about his shell hardening and on more than occasion just comes across as leery. One of the turtles having a crush on April is nothing new, but it could be a lot classier.
The second issue is Leonardo’s voice. Johnny Knoxville’s is too recognisable and took me out of the film every time I heard my favourite turtle speak.
Then there are the villains and the plot. I’ve seen concept art from the film and there was a version of The Shredder I’d have loved to have seen, whilst another I would have despised. What we ended up with is something in the middle.
He’s just…..there, and he’s just evil. Though he possesses way more hardware for making coleslaw he doesn’t have half the presence James Saito’s 90’s incarnation.
The plot could have been ripped from many films of the last ten years, with the final scenes striking more than a passing resemblance to a certain Arachnid based heroes recent reboot. By that point I wasn’t particularly bothered though, as they film had lost me.
I wanted to like TMNT. In certain aspects it showed promise but is ultimately let down by an uncompelling story, and an overall feeling that the turtles are happy in the mediums they’re already performing well in. Maybe the already confirmed sequel will improve on things but the creative ‘talent’ involved doesn’t inspire me.
Even in a world inhabited by talking animals, my suspension of disbelief couldn’t withstand Splinter learning Ninjitsu from a book labelled ‘NINJITSU’ and then passing it on.
Come on…that’s just silly.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Chris Cooper is a Flickering Myth Staff Writer, and owner of the blog Super Duper Stuff. Follow him on Twitter @SDCCooper or visit the blog’s Facebook page.
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