No One: the world needs a Police Academy franchise ranking. Assume the position, because Flickering Myth has it covered…
From a golden era of goofy screwball comedies, a franchise following the misadventures of a group of police academy recruits (turned fully fledged upholders of the law) struck box office gold. Yes, there was a time when Steve Guttenberg was box office dynamite with his easy going, affable charm.
Though the franchise, as with many that run for seven films, saw dwindling box office returns, it still remained hugely popular on video and for many kids growing up in the 80s and early 90s, the films were a regular fixture on TV too.
In time the legacy of the Police Academy movies has been diluted somewhat and probably hasn’t been discovered by new generations as much as other franchises of the era, despite initially being a box office smash.
It’s time to dive into this ranking, a ranking no one asked for but as I practice my Michael Winslow-inspired sound effects here are the seven movies ranked worst to best:
7 – Police Academy: Mission to Moscow
Ranking in seventh place, it’s the seventh and final movie. The law of diminishing returns hits almost every long-running franchise, particularly when they stay largely centred around the same formula. Returning regulars Michael Winslow (Jones), David Graf (Tackleberry), Leslie Easterbrook (Callahan), George Gaynes (Lassard) and G.W Bailey (Capt. Harris) are joined by a pretty impressive cast with Christopher Lee and Claire Forlani. Then there’s Ron Perlman starring as the villain.
Often dubbed one of the worst films of not merely the franchise, but of the mid-90s comedy genre, there are still some points of interest in Mission to Moscow. Aside from the impressive heft of Lee and Perlman in particular, the Russian locations look great. Almost every physical gag is a tired retread of gags which were tired retreads 2-3 movies ago. Jones still beeps and overdubs figures of authority for his amusement and there are repeated gags about Leslie Easterbrook being irresistibly tough and sexy to any male outside of Lassard’s unit.
One of the biggest issues the franchise had was losing Guttenberg from the 5th movie onward. He was initially replaced with Matt McCoy as Lassard’s nephew but essentially very much in the Mahoney character archetype. More on McCoy later, but needless to say even his loss is felt in Mission to Moscow, and the wise guy replacement here, played by Charlie Schlatter just doesn’t work.
6 – Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami
Coming in at 6, it’s the franchise’s fifth instalment which much like its final one, uprooted the team to a new location, this time Miami. The series had always been set in an unnamed but fairy New York-esque (with some LA elements too) City. The change of locale to the distinctive Miami is a point of interest in the film but by now putting together a coherent storyline and engaging obstacles was becoming difficult.
The comedy was resting far more heavily on slapstick too (there are repeated skits about Lassard’s blithering obliviousness leaving chaos in his wake). This was also the first instalment that Guttenberg ducked out from, and although he’d probably gone through the motions in the previous movie, that loss was still felt.
Matt McCoy (that’s Lloyd Braun to Seinfeld fans) is good in the right type of role but he really struggles to pick up the mantle of the atypical womanising 80s charmster that Mahoney was. It never works, whilst his attempts at wooing, including non-consensual massaging (ah the 80s) feel icky. Likewise, we’re at this point in the franchise where pretty much every long-termer gets to do a trademark thing (such as Tackleberry and his penchant for guns) but little else. The antagonists are also distinctly forgettable, and sadly Captain Harris as a persistent nemesis trying to one-up Lassard and his team, doesn’t get any memorable comeuppance.
5 – Police Academy 6: City Under Siege
Many felt that the sixth instalment was a big drop from the previous two movies but I do quite like City Under Siege. The mysterious villain aspect is enjoyable even if his band of criminals rampaging through the City are a little bit too comically inept. However, in terms of big moments, there are a couple of impressive set pieces here and a number of the characters get to do their shtick to good effect.
It also felt somehow more at home compared to the previous one with a more careful set-up of its gags. Captain Harris’s constant attempts to undermine are more enjoyable here, as is a fun sequence as he tries to pass through police HQ to meet the Mayor, with a chair glued to his backside. Dare I say, this one is actually a little underrated.
4- Police Academy 3: Back in Training
It’s a real toss-up between the next two spots. Police Academy 3 sees cost-cutting pit two academies (including Commandant Lassard’s) against each other to avoid being culled. For the second film running, G.W Bailey’s Harris is absent. Having missed the second movie due to schedule, Harris was essentially replaced with Mauser played by Art Metrano. He’s the same character in effect and the butt of the jokes for Mahoney, Jones et al. Just not quite as good, largely because that character archetype was most effectively seen in the best movie of the franchise (more on that later).
This one is enjoyable though and Metrano does still have some entertaining moments. Meanwhile, Bobcat Goldthwait made his second appearance as Zed, who went from criminal to Academy cadet. Winslow and his repertoire of sound effects steal the movie here. He’s more active in it and used far more effectively than the final three movies.
3 – Police Academy 4: Citizen’s On Patrol
Citizen’s on Patrol is usually seen as the moment the wheels were coming off. However, whilst in many ways the third film perhaps reheated a lot of the original film, this one added a few new things and brought a slightly bigger scale to the action. For many naysayers of the franchise, they’ll tell you most of the films were awful and particularly so starting from this one, but honestly I think it’s a really tough call between 3 and 4.
I’ve always enjoyed this instalment. For one it sees the return of Harris who is greeted with a barrage of puerile pranks aimed in his direction. The concept sees Citizens being drafted to add to police presence with the City struggling with a crime wave. From an old woman who shares Tacklberry’s love of weaponry and hardline enforcement to David Spade as a skateboard punk turned rookie recruit, this one is a lot of fun and the finale feels fresh too. Sure, they’re repeating well-worn jokes a little lazily and Mahoney’s carefully rationed screentime feels a little lacklustre but there’s also a pre-superstardom Sharon Stone for the narrow win over Back in Training.
2 – Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment
After the success of the first movie, a sequel was fired out fairly quickly, coming the following year. Metrano came in place of Bailey but effectively recreated the same figure of authority for Guttenberg et al to make a fool of.
Lassard’s recruits take on their first assignment, to try and take down a rogue group terrorising the City, headed up by the inimitable Bobcat Goldthwait. It’s an enjoyably wild and off kilter bad guy with an unpredictability that has perhaps been lacking in the unit’s future adventures. Police Academy 2 is still funny, with Winslow and Guttenberg’s rapport effective. Bailey aside, this one also missed the presence of Leslie Easterbrook, the only film in the franchise she missed.
1 – Police Academy
There’s no two ways about it. Police Academy, by a comfortable margin, is the best of the franchise. Paul Maslansky’s (the producer and brainchild behind) entire franchise, was at its freshest in the first movie. It felt like something a little different with an eclectic group of characters, each with a unique set of quirks.
It’s also the only one in the franchise to be consistently funny throughout with some more risqué humour that becomes particularly lacking in the more looney tunes lite humour of the 3rd movie onward. Some characters like Hightower (Bubba Smith) and Hooks (Marion Ramsey), had some growth here that would be mostly lacking in their subsequent appearances.
Kim Cattrall is also the most effective love interest that Guttenberg had in the franchise, with the pair sharing a chemistry largely absent with some of the other’s leading ladies. The concept works well, with Mahoney a petty criminal ordered to train and trying his level best to flunk the academy (to no avail). Above all, it’s a really enjoyable film that still entertains with each viewing. As far as the line-up, perhaps Goldthwait aside this is the cream of the crop too.
What’s your favourite Police Academy movie? Do you like the whole franchise? Drop us a comment on our social channels @FlickeringMyth…
Tom Jolliffe
